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NaNoWriMo 2018 Wrap Up

Surprise! Hi! It’s me! I’m a terrible blogger, but I have some of the most amazing news.



A post shared by Abbie Lynn Smith (@abbiewritesx) on Nov 2, 2018 at 5:05pm PDT


For the last few months, I’ve been doing research and taking strides to get my novel into shape. By the end of October, I’d started the rewriting of the manuscript. I had under 4,000 words.

Now if you’ve followed my blog since its inception, you will already know what the month of November is to writers. You can go ahead and skip down to the next paragraph. For those who don’t know, NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month. The group that organizes it has a website where you can keep track of your word count, message your buddies, and connect with other writers whether locally through a write-in or through the forums. The goal is to write an entirely new 50,000 word novel by November 30th.

Prior to November, I was pretty sure that I wasn’t going to do Nano again this year. I didn’t want to work on a new idea. I wanted to finish shaping up my old one and getting that gal ready to fly. I remembered from participating in Nano two years ago that there was a badge you could award yourself if you were a “Nanorebel.”

On November 1st, I decided to rebel. I decided that this month was finally going to be the month that I got this draft done. The entire manuscript needed a major overhaul. From story rewrites to perspective changes to new story structures. It needed a LOT of work, and my sense of adventure kicked in. For the first time in a long time, I felt confident about writing. So I registered my novel, made a pretty cover image, and on the evening of November 1st, I sat down in my library and started (well, continued) the rewrite.

What. A. Month.

I can’t even begin to express what the last 30 days have meant to me. For so long, I felt like my writing was lost, that I was lost. Because who was I if I wasn’t telling stories? For the last couple of years, I had been putting so much pressure on myself. The purpose to writing was being published! Right…? Wrong.

I can live without being published. I’ve lived for almost 30 years being unpublished. What I can’t live without is writing. Storytelling.

The month started off really well for me. On the first day, I clocked just over 5,000 words. Within the first week, I’d hit 30,000 words and I was feeling great. It’s been a while since I’ve actually had fun writing, because of the pressure that I put on myself. As I’ve said before, the beginning and endings really needed a lot of work. I’ve had a plan of what I was going to do for almost a year now.

Finally being able to put it in place was a lot of fun. Through this month, I have realized just how much that I’ve learned from writing to begin with. The draft that I sent out to Beta readers in early 2017 was definitely no where near where the manuscript needed to be. But in the time that I haven’t been writing, I’ve been reading. I’ve been seeing how other authors do things, and it’s not only inspired me but it’s helped me to learn where my shortcomings are.

For many scenes in the novel, I was simply adding depth that wasn’t there before. It’s like with each draft that I go through, I add another layer, and to me, that was a lot of fun. To see where my writing was and where it is now makes me incredibly proud.

What surprised me was just how much fun I was having. In the past, writing has felt so much like work, and I don’t ever want it to feel like it’s work. The old saying goes, find a job in a field you’re passionate about and you’ll never work a day in your life.

The last month of writing has felt like anything but work.

In addition to writing/rewriting/editing the novel, I spent a lot of time interacting with others participating in Nano, specifically on Instagram. At the end of a long day of work and writing, I would scroll through the hashtag and like posts, send other writers encouragement, and follow people. I ended up gaining a lot of new followers and friends through the month, and that has been great as well. It’s always good to have a support group. For me, I always feel better about myself if I spend time encouraging others. I’m happy to say that though Nano is over, I’ve made some connections that I’m sure will last when it comes to keeping up with the writing.



A post shared by Abbie Lynn Smith (@abbiewritesx) on Nov 11, 2018 at 10:13pm PST


I hit 50,000 words on November 12th. A lot of the month (especially in the beginning), I saw days where I wrote 5,000 or more. My average on the month was around 3,500. Just like when I did Nano in 2016, I was reminded that I absolutely can write every single day; it’s always been a matter of making time, which is kind of like relationships. If you don’t make the time for it, it isn’t ever going to flourish or grow. I enjoyed writing so much this month that now that it’s December, I’m feeling a little lost.

The last two weeks of the month, I worked at a slower pace. My word count was going up, up, up, and as I neared 80,000, I was feeling really good. The second draft of the novel (that I sent out to Betas) had only been around 88,000. So I was confident that I could get everything done by going at a moderate pace.

Boy, was I wrong.

On day 30, I sat down after work and started writing. About an hour or so into it, I glanced down at the pages that I had left in the previous draft to get through so I could get to the end.

Y’all. I underestimated so bad it isn’t even funny.

Still, I promised myself that I would finish the draft in the month. While I didn’t meet the end until after midnight, I still count all of the words that I wrote between 6 PM and 2 AM on that last day.

My final day’s word count alone was 21,889. Some of those words, I’m not proud of. I didn’t spend nearly as much time with the details and a fine toothed comb, but the most important thing is that I finished. Around 2:11 AM, the draft was done.

My total word count is 112,894.

How. In. The. World. Did. I. Add. 20,000 words?

It took me completely by surprise. I didn’t think I even had that many words inside of me for this story. It had been such a battle to write the first couple of drafts that I thought maybe it would turn out around 90,000 or so. Certainly not over 100,000. I’m incredibly proud and humbled that these characters chose me to tell their story.

So now we fall into the “what’s next” phase.

My heart is screaming for me to start over, go back through, and begin an edit to make this a fourth draft. But my head knows that the smart thing is to give it a little time before I try to dive back in. I’ve learned a lot about writing and the publishing industry. Through many drafts of many different stories, I’ve seen just how easily you can overlook simple errors or miss key plot points because you’re too close to the story.

December is upon us. While it’s really hard for me to step away from this project, I’m probably going to take at least a week away from it, so that when I get back to it, it’s with fresh eyes.

My hope above hope is to be able to have my baby’s fourth draft edit done by mid to end-January of 2019. Then, in the early spring, I will be reaching out for beta readers again. I had four people read for me in 2017 and the feedback I was given was invaluable. The notes that I got back helped me to look at the story in even further depth, to make sure that the passage of time felt natural, and to really dive into the characters, their motivations, and the actions in the story.



A post shared by Abbie Lynn Smith (@abbiewritesx) on Nov 30, 2018 at 3:56pm PST


This project has been a major labor of love for me, ever since it began. It looks incredibly different now than when it was just an idea in my head when I was 18. I feel like I have poured my blood, sweat, and tears onto the page, and I’m so excited to be on this road again.

Once the beta readers are done, I intend on taking their notes into consideration, then working a fifth draft. Maybe, just maybe, at that point, I’ll be ready to start querying agents. The query stage is always frightening, and can be disheartening. Following a lot of literary agents online has helped me to get a better grasp of the industry, and how it works. I know that before I’m ready to query, I will need to spend a lot of time researching the genre, seeing what trends are popular, and then trying to find a home for my baby.

What a month!

Thanks for reading, Abbie, xo.++

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Writing ADD



A post shared by Abbie Lynn Smith (@abbiewritesx) on Jun 24, 2018 at 8:41pm PDT


Sometimes, as a writer, it is very hard to keep your attention on one project. I think a big part of that goes back to my writing origins. When I was fourteen, I discovered what role playing was (text based, you take on a character from a TV show, book, etc. and write like you’re the character). I played so many different characters across many verses. Over the last fifteen years (wow, I’m old!!), I have developed my writing from simple one-line responses to novel length stories.

In total, I have about six projects on my docket. Some of them are simple ideas scrawled out on a note card, or maybe a scene or two saved in a word document. Obviously, I have HalfLife, which has been sitting on my desktop for several months untouched. Then, there’s a fanfiction that is based off of a role play a friend and I did over the course of several years.

What has been so difficult for me is maintaining my focus on one project or another.

It’s like in order to avoid the hard work I have to do on one, I’ll start a new project or jump back into an old one that is still years away from being developed. Yes, I avoid it. I’ve been avoiding HalfLife for several reasons. It was only recently that I discovered why.

I’ve been through a lot over the last few years. In the course of this, I let myself believe that the ultimate goal to writing is to be published. I put pressure on myself to get this perfect or that just right, and that’s unrealistic. To put it simply: I lost the enjoyment of writing. I was no longer doing it because I loved it. I was doing it to put out a product that may or may not be successful in the world.

Let me tell you, when you lose the love for your passion, it becomes a chore. It becomes something that you don’t want to do. I never want to look at my writing as an obligation or because I have to do it.

The day I lose the love of writing, it’s all over.

I’ve finally found the enjoyment in it again. No longer is it about getting published for me. Yes, that is the dream. If it ever happens, I will be immensely joyful about it. But I had to find my love of it again. Without love of a passion, it’s no longer a passion. It’s like sweeping the floors or doing the dishes. That’s not what writing is for me.

Writing has been a big topic of discussion in my therapy sessions. We artistic types tend to express our trauma in our art. Writing has always been an outlet for me. A way for me to make sense of the things I’ve experienced. A way to express the things I feel without really expressing them. I’ve known for over twenty years that I wanted to write stories. And one of the biggest lessons that I’ve learned is that there is no time limit on reaching your dreams. I’d lost my passion, but I’ve finally found it again.

Over the last couple of months, I’ve been composing a fanfiction and I’ve written over 30,000 words. This character is a part of me that no one ever gets to see. I’ve had her stuck in my head for years, just under the surface. Write me… she says. And until I get her story down, I don’t think I’ll be able to move back into HalfLife. I’m hoping to be finished with this by the end of the year, so that in 2019, I can start fresh again.

I have posted what I have so far of the fanfiction over on fanfiction.net. If you’re interested in reading it, shoot me a message.

I’m determined that I am going to finish the next draft of HalfLife next year. Whether that’ll be agent ready or not is yet to be seen. There is one thing I know for sure: I am going to enjoy the process.

As always, thanks for reading.

Abbie

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Mental Health, HalfLife, & Positive Intentions



A post shared by Abbie Lynn Smith (@abbiewritesx) on Sep 10, 2017 at 7:09pm PDT


May is Mental Health Month, which is fitting, because a large part of this blog is going to be dedicated to exploring my own journey over the past year. It’s been about eight months since I’ve posted anything, and longer than that since I’ve sent out an update on my writing.

The writing process is tedious in itself. I have a full time job, family responsibilities, and myself on top of trying to spend time in my craft. If I didn’t have those “real life” pressures, it would probably be easier to get something done on HalfLife. However, this is real life. My life.

For nearly the last year, I haven’t been able to write.

When I sent out my HalfLife draft to Beta Readers early last spring, I dove right into the sequel book. I managed to pump out 50,000 words in a very short time, but when I got the beta notes back, it was like I froze. A writer’s block in the worst way hit me. I would try and try and try again to rework the manuscript, to find the spots that needed the most work, to heed the advice of my Betas.

The truth is: I wasn’t doing well.

I hadn’t been for a couple of years. A year ago, I spent all of my time in bed if I wasn’t at work. I didn’t hang out with people. In fact, I actively avoided them. I literally only did the things I was obligated to do. There were periods of time where the only people who saw me were my parents because I was living with them.

I was really struggling. I’d lost people in my life, dealt with family issues, and my parents flooded in 2016. By the Spring of 2017, I was a mess. I tried dating, which I don’t really do, and my anxiety was horrendous. I’m talking three hour anxiety attacks beforehand. I didn’t know how to handle the way that I was feeling.

This week marks one year since I started seeing my therapist.

When I first went, I felt hopeless. I was at my lowest point. I felt alone, and lost, and scared. To this day, talking about how I was feeling then will make me cry because that’s a scary place to be. Logically, I knew that my thought processes were ridiculous, but emotionally, I had convinced myself that I had no worth, that I had pushed away everyone important to me, and that I was a burden on the world. Looking back on it makes me cry because I’m terrified of being that person again. That was a scary place to be, and I never want to go back there.

It was hard at first to admit that I was in therapy. When I was leaving early every week, I’d tell my coworkers that I was leaving for a doctor’s appointment. It took a good six months before I was comfortable even telling people outside of my immediate family that I was in therapy. At the time, it made me feel weak, like I was admitting to not being this strong person that I was for other people.

A year later, I know that taking that first step was the strongest thing that I have ever done.

I’ve learned so much about myself in the last year. I’ve changed. I still have anxiety. I still have depressive episodes, but I’ve learned how to manage them. I’ve also learned that I have to be gentle with myself. I’m my own worst critic. For the most part, this change has been positive, but not everyone has been supportive on my journey. As a result, I’ve had to say goodbye along the way. But through that goodbye, I was able to realize the people who are supportive. I am so lucky to have people that still care even when I blew them off for months (even a year!) because I was going through a hard time.

So how does this relate to my writing?

When I’m not well, the creative side of my brain shuts down. I go into survivor mode. Do the bare minimum. I’m finally in a place where my creative brain is working again. I have a clear plan for HalfLife, and I’m working to make the time to get through it.



A post shared by Abbie Lynn Smith (@abbiewritesx) on Apr 15, 2018 at 11:27am PDT


This is my plan: –rework the entire first half of the novel to increase and establish actual stakes early on –character development (some names are changing & developing more concrete backstories) –Building up the story so the ending doesn’t feel like a big bomb going off without any build up.

I have at least this draft and a round of heavy edits before this is ready for anyone else to look at. To those who beta read for me last year, thank you, and I’m sorry. That draft wasn’t ready for anyone’s eyes. I may be looking to do another beta read, but when that time comes, I’ll be asking different people so I have fresh eyes on the manuscript.

So, I’m here, I’m better, and every day I move more toward my goal of being published. Thank you to those who have stuck around. This is only the beginning.

Love, Abbie

PS: if you or someone you know is struggling, please know that there are resources out there designed to help. I know it’s scary to admit you’re struggling. Just remember, you have made it through 100% of your bad days. If there’s anything I can do to help, please reach out to me at abbiewritesx@gmail.com. I would be happy to help in any way that I can.

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